“Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction and certainly not in isolation. The movement of behavior is the sure guide to yourself. It’s the mirror of your consciousness; this mirror will reveal its content, the images, the attachments, the fears, the loneliness, the joy and sorrow…” – J. Krishnamurti
All relationships reflect back to us who we believe we are as well as our unresolved issues. They show the beliefs, wounds, and other triggers that are stored in our subconscious mind. To learn more about how past conditioning affects our relationships, read my short free eBook, “From Toxicity to Vibrancy.”
When your partner angers or disappoints you, the most common reaction is to blame, complain and criticize him or her for the behavior. People look for solutions outside of themselves and perhaps try to change their partner so that they behave in ways that please you. Rarely do we consider how we are contributing to the unpleasant situation.
By becoming aware of what is going on within yourself, you will see the underlying factors, i.e. your thoughts and emotions, that contribute to the results you are receiving in your outer world. You have all of the answers inside you. Your relationship reflects what needs to be shifted, because there is something within your subconscious mind that is triggered; a button you have is being pushed.
If you have a loving and happy relationship, that reflects the loving and nurturing qualities within yourself. However, if, for example, your partner is disrespectful towards you, what is it within you that allows disrespect? How are you disrespectful towards yourself? Are you respecting your thoughts, feelings, and actions? I explain how to shift these patterns in order to create a more fulfilling relationship in my free eBook.
When you uncover what is really going on for you, and take a stand to be more respectful towards yourself, you will then release that part of you. That shift will draw different results into your experiences. If the same situation repeats, that just means there is more releasing that needs to occur. The universe will continue to present certain people and situations in front of us, until we have fully learned the lesson.
One of my clients was wondering why she was attracting men who would not take her seriously, or that disregard her needs. She didn’t understand why she kept experiencing this same situation but with different men. During our coaching session, I asked her in what ways she was not taking herself seriously. How she was disregarding herself. We uncovered that she had the belief that her needs and thoughts were not important enough to be honored and expressed.
Of course there were other factors at play as well; however, by her uncovering that belief, she was then able to see how that one belief and the way of presenting herself to her potential partners was contributing to how they were treating her. Together we walked through a process for her to heal and release that belief from her subconscious and now she is in the process of attracting men who are able to appreciate who she is.
The beauty of relationships is that they allow a purification process to take place by revealing to you what needs to be shifted in order to allow your most authentic self to emerge. This same principle is true for all relationships, not just with romantic partnerships. Your boss, family member, co-worker, friend or even a stranger can behave in ways that trigger different reactions within you. Yet, there is a valuable lesson in each interaction, which serves to reveal aspects of yourself that were not apparent otherwise.
Next time an unpleasant situation or behavior occurs, rather than being quick to react, take a moment to see what is coming up for you. What emotions are surfacing? What thoughts are causing that emotion? And what needs to be shifted and released within yourself in order to allow a better experience? Honor the information that comes up for you without any judgment.
It is extremely uplifting to know that you have the power to change what is showing up in your life by checking in within yourself and seeing what issue, trigger, or pattern of behavior needs to be released. Relationships serve our personal evolution by providing clues about ourselves that, when addressed, will reveal the most brilliant version of ourselves. Take notice of those clues, look to see what area needs to be resolved, and watch how your experiences change for the better.
Please like and share this post! If you want guidance so that you can effectively release the triggers, schedule your free 45-minute laser coaching session with me. You don’t have to do it alone, I’m here to support your growth.