Hartwig HKD

Is Your Why Big Enough?

Life is guaranteed to have its share of ups and downs. One moment everything is going well, you’re flying high, then something takes you by surprise and now you’re confused, wondering how to move forward. We have all been there.

One of the biggest and powerful ways to not allow life’s circumstances shake you is knowing your “why.” What is your purpose? What is your mission, your vision, your dream? Why are you doing the things you’re doing? This is an important concept that is prevalent in the personal development world.

Without having clearly defined the reasons that drive you to want to be successful, to have the love of your life, or accomplish certain things, every obstacle you encounter on your way will feel like a bigger roadblock than it needs to be. The “why” is what keeps you going despite difficulties.

The “why” has to be big enough to emotionally trigger you. Why are you going to go through the heartache and suffering, the ups and downs? What will you stop at nothing to achieve? What will you stand for at all costs?

My “Whys”

I revisited this concept recently after having worked with an amazing business coach and the owner of Success Academy, Mel Culter, this past weekend at the Speaker Revolution workshop in Irvine, California.

Before transitioning from the legal world to a professional life coach, I had asked myself these questions time and time again, “What is my purpose? What is my mission? What is my message to share with the world?” I knew that I had many gifts and talents to share, but I had the calling since I was 10 years old to share myself in a bigger way than I had been showing up at that point. I couldn’t play small anymore.

One of my biggest passions and purpose in life is empowering women. Growing up in a traditional Armenian culture, I learned traditional gender roles: the men were the dominant head of the household, while the women had to cater to the men and be of service. Like many other traditions, generally speaking of course, the women were subordinate. While I absolutely adore and value my culture, the gender inequalities lit a fire within me at an early age to have an active role in leading women to embrace their feminine power.

This conditioning also deeply affected my personal life as well as I struggled the most with romantic relationships. I found myself constantly giving my power away to the men in my life, making them more important than me and unconsciously assuming the subordinate role in the relationships. Needless to say, that didn’t work out too well for me back then.

Again, the same patterns I was experiencing in my relationships were showing up with clients in the family law firms I worked in as well. Having done my inner work by then, I felt compelled to give back the wisdom I gained so that other women wouldn’t have to go through the pain I did in relationships.

As such, my mission became clear: to inspire women to regain their identity and power so that they can move forward in their lives and relationships with confidence. I do what I do because I want to help, inspire, motivate, lead and give value to as many people who will accept it.

However, it doesn’t stop there. My vision is a world filled with enlightened, conscious beings that take responsibility for how they show up in their lives and assume a role in creating a more harmonious community for all. I am aware that I cannot take on this mission alone, and perhaps I may not reach the entire world; however, a conscious shift within one person affects many others around them.

Is this a far-fetched dream? Some may think so. I, on the other hand, believe it could be possible and it already has started to happen as more companies and individuals are leading from a heart-centered base.

So when I face disappointments, my “whys” (and there are many more not included in this article) help me shift my perspective from ego-based to heart-based. I embrace that it’s not about me, it’s about the lives I aspire to touch, and it comes down to looking at the bigger picture.

What are your whys? What keeps you going when life becomes difficult? What are the visions you have for yourself and the world? Please share and let’s continue the conversation.

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